Warning: Don't try this at home
Either I was really brave, or else, really stupid
So, long story short, things not as bad as I imagined that they might have gone. Interestingly enough, I slept well last night which I've not done for days, had no nightmares, and my stomach isn't giving me shit. Also, no headache, and for the first time in two and a half or three years, I'm not worried about one developing.
I opened up the cabinet to the desk this morning without worrying 'is anyone else in the room'? I didn't have chest pains when moving around the folders of naughty pictures hidden under the things I needed to grab out of there.
Interestingly enough, the muses (the ones that are around) are okay with this, and even more interestingly, I'm okay with this. I think in part because when I was writing the last chapter of 'Center Stage', I was feeling burned out. I really struggled to make it not be a repeat of everything else I've done.
And the funny thing is, I learned some things about myself last night. There's a reason I like fluffy slash stories - I like to read the cuddling and the snuggling and smooching, but I have to make a couple of confessions.. first, I often scroll through the actual sex: I've read enough slash smut to know what part goes where and even reading through my own smut scenes, slash or het, things seem quite recycled at times. Second, my real interest is in the plot and everything leading up to the sex itself. Which is, I suppose, why I can't seem to write and pwp stuff, and why I don't go seeking it out. Third, there are times I have written up to NC17 and tossed in sex just because I know that more people will read the story if there's screwing going on. That applies to both sides of the fence, and those sitting on it.
And we all know how terrible I am about keeping secrets about myself and my writing. 'Twas bound to happen sometime. I figure, if my writing is as enjoyable as it is claimed, it will still be read if it only ever manages an R rating at best. And if it was only being read for the nookie, well.. *shrugs* I started by writing for myself, for my own pleasure. I have to get back to doing that. I've strayed so far from my humor days of Orophin running around without pants (er, that sounds worse than it is) and Glorfindel's cutesy courting of Erestor (though, in the third age, the counselor would never admit he enjoyed such attention).. I need mah bunnehs back.. where are those little rascals hiding...
Confuzzled? Long story short, I finally told Mark exactly what I was writing in the shadows of the night.. I was tired of lying to him constantly and tired of hiding all the time.
ps - I do still have things not yet posted of an NC17 nature that will get released; don't worry, those will be posted eventually when the rest of the chapters leading to them are written, and nothing is getting deleted from anywhere, so no panicking on that front.
*snuggles and orange bunny* I've been looking for you...
So, long story short, things not as bad as I imagined that they might have gone. Interestingly enough, I slept well last night which I've not done for days, had no nightmares, and my stomach isn't giving me shit. Also, no headache, and for the first time in two and a half or three years, I'm not worried about one developing.
I opened up the cabinet to the desk this morning without worrying 'is anyone else in the room'? I didn't have chest pains when moving around the folders of naughty pictures hidden under the things I needed to grab out of there.
Interestingly enough, the muses (the ones that are around) are okay with this, and even more interestingly, I'm okay with this. I think in part because when I was writing the last chapter of 'Center Stage', I was feeling burned out. I really struggled to make it not be a repeat of everything else I've done.
And the funny thing is, I learned some things about myself last night. There's a reason I like fluffy slash stories - I like to read the cuddling and the snuggling and smooching, but I have to make a couple of confessions.. first, I often scroll through the actual sex: I've read enough slash smut to know what part goes where and even reading through my own smut scenes, slash or het, things seem quite recycled at times. Second, my real interest is in the plot and everything leading up to the sex itself. Which is, I suppose, why I can't seem to write and pwp stuff, and why I don't go seeking it out. Third, there are times I have written up to NC17 and tossed in sex just because I know that more people will read the story if there's screwing going on. That applies to both sides of the fence, and those sitting on it.
And we all know how terrible I am about keeping secrets about myself and my writing. 'Twas bound to happen sometime. I figure, if my writing is as enjoyable as it is claimed, it will still be read if it only ever manages an R rating at best. And if it was only being read for the nookie, well.. *shrugs* I started by writing for myself, for my own pleasure. I have to get back to doing that. I've strayed so far from my humor days of Orophin running around without pants (er, that sounds worse than it is) and Glorfindel's cutesy courting of Erestor (though, in the third age, the counselor would never admit he enjoyed such attention).. I need mah bunnehs back.. where are those little rascals hiding...
Confuzzled? Long story short, I finally told Mark exactly what I was writing in the shadows of the night.. I was tired of lying to him constantly and tired of hiding all the time.
ps - I do still have things not yet posted of an NC17 nature that will get released; don't worry, those will be posted eventually when the rest of the chapters leading to them are written, and nothing is getting deleted from anywhere, so no panicking on that front.
*snuggles and orange bunny* I've been looking for you...