Open Letter To My Couch
Apr. 23rd, 2008 05:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zhieDear Couch,
I know you've been with us a very, very long time. So long, you're sort of Ent-ish, really.
I appreciate the fact you allowed me to molest you in ways no one else ever has in order to search for the wayward purple flashdrive.
That you allowed me to conduct a full-body cavity search, complete with flashlight, will not go unremembered.
That I pulled out a pillow I didn't even know was missing until last night will continue to disturb me for some time.
That I tipped you over and spanked you until the flashdrive flew out will lead to more than one unexpected work of fanfiction, of that I am certain.
Also, the dollar and thirty-one cents in assorted coins was appreciated as well. Not often does one receive money back for the sort of treatment you... well, I suppose if you had gone to a proctologist, he'd have charged more than a dollar thirty-one, so we'll call it even.
Thank you, dear couch.
As for the flashdrive, I am deciding upon how I shall suitably scold it as I type. But first, I need nachos.
That is all.
I know you've been with us a very, very long time. So long, you're sort of Ent-ish, really.
I appreciate the fact you allowed me to molest you in ways no one else ever has in order to search for the wayward purple flashdrive.
That you allowed me to conduct a full-body cavity search, complete with flashlight, will not go unremembered.
That I pulled out a pillow I didn't even know was missing until last night will continue to disturb me for some time.
That I tipped you over and spanked you until the flashdrive flew out will lead to more than one unexpected work of fanfiction, of that I am certain.
Also, the dollar and thirty-one cents in assorted coins was appreciated as well. Not often does one receive money back for the sort of treatment you... well, I suppose if you had gone to a proctologist, he'd have charged more than a dollar thirty-one, so we'll call it even.
Thank you, dear couch.
As for the flashdrive, I am deciding upon how I shall suitably scold it as I type. But first, I need nachos.
That is all.
