Letters to Santa...

[zhie]

...stolen from everyone

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Sunday I put gum in dorothynoland's hair (-12 points). In September I gave araxie4 a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). In June I punched lilmay2 in the arm (-10 points). In November I farted in an elevator (-6 points). Last Friday I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). Overall, I've been nice (14 points). For Christmas I deserve a toy train! Sincerely, zhie

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Hmm, that doesn't quite sound right... let's try that again...

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In May I stole thalassa_ipx's purse (-30 points). In November I caught a purse-snatcher who stole batsojopo's purse (30 points). Last Saturday I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). Last Monday on a flight to Colorado Springs, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). In June I pulled elf_pimp's hair (-5 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-53 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich! Sincerely, zhie

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Can't stop there...

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In June I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). Last month, I wrote a novel, in which I displaced items of my canon which had been displacing items of Tolkien canon which completely baffled some readers and left them at my mercy, causing them to read the entirety of the work in order to be unconfuzzled (-0 points). In November I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). In January I ruled Asscrackistan as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Many times through the last year, I forced Glorfindel and Erestor to get naked and do naughty things involving breakfast condiments with each other (-0 points). Last Wenesday I set aseltym's puppy on fire (-66 points). Last Monday I committed genocide... Sorry about that, fimbrethiel (-5000 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-4355 points). For Christmas I deserve lots and lots of elf porn, a nekkid Glorfindel with a big red bow, and... a pony! Sincerely, zhie, Supreme Dictator of the Divine Sovereign Nation of Asscrackistan

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Heh heh... only Booky's gonna get the part about the pony...