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[personal profile] zhie
Now, before you read this, keep in mind --- otherpervert is my sister Maggie. Okay, go.






Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero


LJ stalking horror - a report by Zhie.



otherpervert is stalking Zhie
otherpervert’s REAL name : Reggie Currie
otherpervert’s REAL DOB : 08th November 1973
Height :157 cm Weight : 59.2 kg
otherpervert has dreamt about you : 7 times
otherpervert became interested in you : 17th August 2003
otherpervert’s latest dream about you
Both you and otherpervert are working in an animal sanctuary together. otherpervert suggests that you retire to the empty ape sanctuary for a while for a bit of role-play.
This is how otherpervert describes your relationship behind your back
‘I don’t want to be just good friends. I want to be with her forever. To death to us part and all that.’
otherpervert’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
For the last year otherpervert has been pilfering Zhie’s mothers bras from her lingerie drawer.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
In the past year otherpervert has spent their entire life savings on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to look more like you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Fuck me darling! Fuck me now! Fuck me whilst I’m limber! It won’t be long before we both have arthiritis anyway!


The Police
No. calls to the police : 9 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, police? Yeah, I’d like to report a crime. Some mad fuckers just shovelled shit into our mailbox. I think it’s this person I know from the internet called otherpervert. Yeah, real mad son of a bitch. Can’t seem to understand that I just don’t like ‘em."
otherpervert’s Police File
otherpervert makes Mark Champman look well-adjusted.


Testimonies about otherpervert
riina2504 - Brainless patriot
‘otherpervert was always one of us. One of the gang. We never suspected anything. I’m really shocked..’
lotrfan_angel17 - Pig-hustler
‘It just goes to show that the world is full of sick, twisted perverts. I’m gonna fucking kill otherpervert!’
daeomae - Wide-load
‘Jesus fuck! You’ve got to be joking?!??! otherpervert? A pervert? It’s quite funny now I think about it. What an idiot!’




wonder if I'll get to stalk anyone... *nudge nudge*

Date: 2006-08-15 08:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] daeomae.livejournal.com
*howls* Wide-load!! Well, at least that much is true! *gigglesnort*


*Mwah*

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