Open Letter To My Purple Flashdrive

Remember those good times we had, about eight months ago, when we downloaded all that stuff and I set you down for a mere moment and then you were gone? And in my own pad, no less, not like I set you in my desk or heaven forbid, ON the bloody thing where EVERYTHING gets lost in a black hole of doom. No, you were well cared for those two entire weeks, and then...

You were gone.

And... you're still gone.

And... I've overturned, moved, and even shaken the couch of whose arm you were set. No flashy drivey.

I mean, you're bright friggin purple, man! You're not like the little black Kodak ones that I don't even know what's on them. You're not like the little white ones that could be mistaken for a stick of gum in a desperate bad breath moment or something.

Purple, dude. PURPLE.

I saw another purple flashdrive at the store the other day. Just sitting there, right at the checkout. Sure, it wasn't the same Nibbles-purple that you are, but it WAS purple.

I can't get another pink one. I've got one of those. And yellow, I've not seen, because, let's face it, Fin-muse wants the next one to be yellow. Or gold. Not orange, got one of those, can't have two. Green's taken. So is blue. There's red, white, black, silver, indigo -- yes, indigo -- and grey already. I'm obviously running out of colors.

And patience. If you're going to turn up, now's the time to do it, bub. That cute lil purple flashdrive I saw at the store isn't going to wait for me by the checkout forever, man. So the ball's in your court. I'm moving that friggin' couch on last time. If you want to be part of this shiny case full of information and fanfictional goodness, including one very special flashdrive dedicated to nothing but Erasure and Queen, today's the day. And if not, so be it, but when it's over, it's over. Don't say I didn't give you a chance. That's the last I'm saying on the issue. I'm counting to ten and moving the couch. You better make a decision, kiddo.

One..

Two..

Three..

Open Letter To My Couch

Dear Couch,

I know you've been with us a very, very long time. So long, you're sort of Ent-ish, really.

I appreciate the fact you allowed me to molest you in ways no one else ever has in order to search for the wayward purple flashdrive.

That you allowed me to conduct a full-body cavity search, complete with flashlight, will not go unremembered.

That I pulled out a pillow I didn't even know was missing until last night will continue to disturb me for some time.

That I tipped you over and spanked you until the flashdrive flew out will lead to more than one unexpected work of fanfiction, of that I am certain.

Also, the dollar and thirty-one cents in assorted coins was appreciated as well. Not often does one receive money back for the sort of treatment you... well, I suppose if you had gone to a proctologist, he'd have charged more than a dollar thirty-one, so we'll call it even.

Thank you, dear couch.

As for the flashdrive, I am deciding upon how I shall suitably scold it as I type. But first, I need nachos.

That is all.

Fifteen Writer's Choice entries still open

For those reading Whispers, there are still 15 slots open for suggestions for the 'writer's choice' segments. I like to have other people suggest the words or phrases, because it makes it more interesting and challenging.

So, if you've been reading, and have a suggestion, please feel free to respond ^_^ Binky, Siesta, Britt, and Book Maven have already given me some great ones to work with (and the four of you, please feel free to add more!)