Open Letter To My Couch

[zhie]

Dear Couch,

I know you've been with us a very, very long time. So long, you're sort of Ent-ish, really.

I appreciate the fact you allowed me to molest you in ways no one else ever has in order to search for the wayward purple flashdrive.

That you allowed me to conduct a full-body cavity search, complete with flashlight, will not go unremembered.

That I pulled out a pillow I didn't even know was missing until last night will continue to disturb me for some time.

That I tipped you over and spanked you until the flashdrive flew out will lead to more than one unexpected work of fanfiction, of that I am certain.

Also, the dollar and thirty-one cents in assorted coins was appreciated as well. Not often does one receive money back for the sort of treatment you... well, I suppose if you had gone to a proctologist, he'd have charged more than a dollar thirty-one, so we'll call it even.

Thank you, dear couch.

As for the flashdrive, I am deciding upon how I shall suitably scold it as I type. But first, I need nachos.

That is all.

Comments

[mdarkdreamer.livejournal.com]

All hail the molested couch of infanate odd findings!!

*Waggles finger at purple flashdrive*

"Naughty! I realize you wished to visit Mr. Pillow and Random Money, but you should Always tell your Chief Counselor where you are going! Naughty Flashdrive!"

~DarkDreamer

[kenazfiction.livejournal.com]

I don't know which is more full of teh awesomez: this entry, or your icon.

[gwaelinn.livejournal.com]

Awww...I guess it was not sprites or pixies. Oh well, I am glad the little guy is home safe and sound *tisks purple drive* Making Zhie fret so *gives the 'mom' look* You had best be on your best little flash behavior. And poor couch, having to go through such an ordeal! Such a brave piece.

Glad it ended well!
Smiles
~G

[lalaith-raina.livejournal.com]

My question to you is simply:
Did the couch enjoy the spanking?

Glad you found your flashdrive. :3

[nienna-weeper.livejournal.com]

Dear Flashdrive

Dear Couch

Dear ....?

Can't wait! *giggles*

LMAO

[reeksakapanther.livejournal.com]

That was hillarious. I loved it. Even hubby chuckled when I read it to him. I had to..sorry...he needed a laugh.

I am glad you found your purnuple flash drive, now I can bring mine outta hiding. I couldn't have mine vanishing because let's face it..Some of the stuff on mine you would be bleaching your peepers for years.

But long live purnurple flash drives. Make sure to spank it for hiding.

Hugglebears

[anieni.livejournal.com]

I followed advice as instructed so my monitor came out of this unscathed. Much gratitude for the warning. Laughter induced by reading this new episode on the saga is, as always, much appreciated. If you ever feel the need to rescue lost pillows and spank a few more couches I have some that will volunteer. Fin can provide references as needed, he has seen fit to visit them on ocassion.