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zhieTonight's writing included Morgoth getting ready to sing (not as crazy as it sounds) and also a crazysexyhotangstydream (with much thanks to punkinelf for letting me molest her plot bunny for that)
Now, I should really put up something very blah for the excerpt, because it's just going to spoil anyone reading these if I... wait, what was that? I heard someone in the back demand the crazysexyhotangstydream sequence. Well, can't argue with that.
Uhh... Jake... don't look... I don't need you scarred...
please remember, this is all unedited, and written word after word without stopping...a lot some of it will be rewritten come March
When Erestor next opened his eyes, the chains were gone. There was light, and warmth from the sun, and he was standing in a green field. Everything was so serene, and standing before him, robed in blue and white, was Glorfindel. His hair was long and curled up at the ends near the back of his knees and shined golden in the sunlight. There was no sign of charring, no bald patches where the heat had fused his hair to his scalp. His hands were folded before him, his lips open just slightly, not gaping and cracked with traces of dried blood upon them. Everything was perfect, including his eyes, brilliant blue-green of the ocean. When Erestor had last looked upon Glorfindel, he could not have described the color, for nothing remained to be described. Erestor swallowed hard, but did not feel it as he should have. “Am I dead?”
“Nay. You are only dreaming.” Glorfindel, or his apparition, approached. “The sort of dream you wake up and forget.”
“But if I forget when I wake, did it ever happen in the first place?” Erestor shook his head, and looked down to find he was strikingly dressed in black and red, much as he might have been during his days as part of Rog’s army. “That must mean that you are part of my imagination.”
“Actually... I am real, despite being dead.”
“Explain, please.”
Glorfindel smiled. “I died. I spent a while in the Halls. Namo does not know what to do with me – my weeping is surpassed only by his sister.”
Erestor felt a pang in his chest, and moved forward towards Glorfindel in hopes of comforting him. He found that no matter how much he walked or jogged, Glorfindel appeared to remain the same distance from him without moving at all. “I am sorry. It should have been me.”
“It had to be me, Erestor. You need to stop blaming yourself for that. I had to be the one.”
Erestor started to shake his head. “I should have helped you—“
“I still would have died.” Glorfindel loosened the belt on his robe, allowing the sash to fall. The upper section of the robe draped open, and the ugly scar on his chest from his battle with a dragon during the retreat from the Nirnaeth Arnoediad. “I should have been dead long ago. I lived for my son; I should have died when he did. Then it was for Earendil, but I was running out of time. I am glad it happened as it did,” he said as he pulled the robe shut and held it closed. “It was easier to go quickly than it would have been to waste away over a period of weeks or months in my bed surrounded by those who would be pitying me.”
Still distressed, Erestor said, “I will never forgive myself for your death.”
“I know.” Glorfindel nodded. “I understand. I will never be at peace about Indelion.”
“Glorfindel, there was nothing you could do,” said Erestor quickly.
“And there was nothing you could do, either.” Glorfindel took a step forward, and Erestor found that this was the only way they would close the distance. “But there are things you can do now. Of course, you will probably just do whatever you damn well please, because that is just the way you are.”
Erestor was unable to deny this. “So, I will remember none of this. Will you at least tell me someday when I see you again?”
“I would if I were able,” said Glorfindel, “but I have already been told that I shall remember none of this.”
The reality seemed cruel to Erestor. “Then... then it is as if this never shall happen. Whatever we say now, whatever we do now – how unkind of Irmo, to bring this torture upon us!” Erestor reached out towards Glorfindel, but the distance remained too great. “How dare he give us such false hope!”
“Do not curse Irmo, nor his brother and sister,” pleaded Glorfindel, “for it is their kindness which has allowed us this brief interlude.” Finally, an emotion was visible on Glorfindel’s face: Distress. “Erestor... Erestor, you are supposed to think this meeting is for your sake, to aid you, to comfort you, but... but they are going to break the bond.”
“Break the bond?”
Glorfindel nodded tearfully.
“If there is a bond, then...”
Glorfindel continued to nod.
Now Erestor felt himself overcome with emotion. “Why? Why would they force such a thing? Obviously, we must not want it broken, if our souls will not let go.”
“Marriage is for the living,” stated Glorfindel bitterly, sounding as if he was quoting from an official document. “The bond is meant to be broken upon death.”
“Glorfindel... do not leave me, Glorfindel...” Erestor stopped, and a spark of memory caught him offguard. “We have been here before,” he said as he looked around. “You have visited me in dreams.”
Glorfindel nodded. “Unfortunately, I have always been allowed to remember. When the dreams end, the bond is still there.” He paused. “Now that I know that I have you, I refuse to let go.” He laughed, but it was a bitter sound. “Just how wrong is that? I have you, but I cannot have you.”
The answer seemed obvious to Erestor. “I just need to die. If I die, we can be together. Considering where I am, it will not be so difficult.”
The blond looked appalled. “Erestor, no. There are things you are fated to do. If you die... did you ever play with dominos when you were young?”
“Of course. The game is easy. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Did you ever set them up on end, and make rows of them on the floor?” Glorfindel waved his hand, and on the ground a row of large dominos appeared. They circled around them, each a breath away from another. “Do you see that one there?”
One of the bricks was taller than the others, and Erestor nodded in affirmation.
“Pretend that is you. If you stand tall, and fight against forces, then everything will be fine, in the end. But if you fall...” Glorfindel trailed off as the tall piece leaned forward suddenly. One after one, the bricks leaned and knocked into their neighbor until the final piece hit the first one with a clunk. “...we all fall down.”
Erestor stared at the black and white pieces that were toppled over around them. “When will I see you again?” he finally asked.
“That I do not know.”
“Will I see you again?”
Glorfindel did not answer.
“How long do we have right now?”
“Due to the fact you are locked up in a room with no windows and no expectations of visitors, I doubt anyone will be coming to wake you up anytime soon,” guessed Glorfindel.
“Are we allowed to reforge this bond before it is broken?”
Glorfindel looked surprised, but not unpleasantly so. Then, he looked sad.
“Is something wrong?” asked Erestor.
“No.” Glorfindel stepped closer again, and the dominos faded away. “You have just never expressed an interest to before.”
“How many times have you been in my dreams?” wondered Erestor.
Glorfindel – to Erestor’s dismay – stopped walking for a moment. “A few dozen. Of course, I kept promising to break the bond every time... I guess Namo has tired of my games,” he said ruefully.
“Does it really need to be broken?”
“For me to heal, it does. My soul cannot be mended while it clings to yours.”
“Where are you?” asked Glorfindel when he was standing before Erestor. He had let go of the robe, so it hung open now, his skin exposed from his collar to the waistband of his pants.
“You do not know?” asked Erestor carefully. Glorfindel shook his head. “Are you sure you wish me to tell you?”
“Are you in someone else’s bed?” The comment was many only in partial jest, and Erestor smiled a little. Glorfindel shook his head. “I did not want to know, so I never asked, but I think you should tell me.”
Erestor considered his answer. “I do not want you to worry.”
“Then do not lie to me, because whatever you make up will only worry me more.”
“Morgoth,” said Erestor, and the word sounded evil as he said it. “I allowed myself to be captured so that Manwe and the others might find him. He has me hanging in his dungeon, for now.”
Each word was a stab to Glorfindel’s heart, and he closed the gap between them. “I feared it was something like this, with how willing they have been in allowing me these visits with you. He reached out for Erestor, and they were holding on to one another in an instant. “I know that I told you that I would not return, but say the word, and for you I shall.”
Despite the knowledge of it being a dream, for the moment, it felt real to Erestor. He slid his left hand back behind Glorfindel’s neck and caressed his skin before moving his hand up to tangle in the golden waves. “Here is your answer, my dear.” Erestor moved his other hand behind Glorfindel’s head. With his palms, he gently coaxed Glorfindel to tilt his head while he bent down and pressed his mouth against Glorfindel’s. The rush he felt was lovely and bittersweet; tears were shed as they kissed and caressed and sobbed softly in each other’s arms.
“I was so stupid.” Erestor lifted his head, but instead of wiping his own eyes used his thumbs to brush away Glorfindel’s tears. “So stupid for so long. You were right there. All it would have taken was a few words--”
“Shhh... say no more of it. I might have been a bit bolder myself. It is all in the past.” Glorfindel turned within Erestor’s arms so that his back was pressed up against Erestor’s chest. “There are tough and dangerous times ahead for both of us. I cannot tell how long it will take or what will happen between now and then, but we have each other now, and we will be together again someday.”
Erestor tightened his embrace, bowed his head, and nuzzled Glorfindel’s shoulder where it curved up to his neck. The scent was warm and comforting to him, and he lingered there until he felt Glorfindel’s hands impatiently upon him. “I dislike long waits.”
“But the reward will be worth it,” promised Glorfindel.
Rough kisses were trailed down Glorfindel’s shoulder as the robe was pulled from him. “I want you... I need to make love to you now,” murmured Erestor into Glorfindel’s ear. The sky of the perfect world in his dreams had dimmed, and in the twilight all of the stars were bright and shined down upon them.
Glorfindel groaned and pressed back against Erestor. “There is something you need to know,” he said, which was followed by a gasp as Erestor’s hands disappeared beneath the fabric of his trousers. Glorfindel gently pulled away for a moment and turned around again to face Erestor. “There are going to be others – for both of us,” he added when he saw the hurt look on Erestor’s face. “Remember, you will not recall this when you wake, nor will I. However, I think you need to know that.” He reached up and began to untie the lacing of the shirt that Erestor wore. “But I want to tell you – I need to tell you – you are my one true love. My world revolves around you.”
There was little Erestor could say in response, so he said the only thing he thought came close. “I love you.”
Now, I should really put up something very blah for the excerpt, because it's just going to spoil anyone reading these if I... wait, what was that? I heard someone in the back demand the crazysexyhotangstydream sequence. Well, can't argue with that.
Uhh... Jake... don't look... I don't need you scarred...
please remember, this is all unedited, and written word after word without stopping...
When Erestor next opened his eyes, the chains were gone. There was light, and warmth from the sun, and he was standing in a green field. Everything was so serene, and standing before him, robed in blue and white, was Glorfindel. His hair was long and curled up at the ends near the back of his knees and shined golden in the sunlight. There was no sign of charring, no bald patches where the heat had fused his hair to his scalp. His hands were folded before him, his lips open just slightly, not gaping and cracked with traces of dried blood upon them. Everything was perfect, including his eyes, brilliant blue-green of the ocean. When Erestor had last looked upon Glorfindel, he could not have described the color, for nothing remained to be described. Erestor swallowed hard, but did not feel it as he should have. “Am I dead?”
“Nay. You are only dreaming.” Glorfindel, or his apparition, approached. “The sort of dream you wake up and forget.”
“But if I forget when I wake, did it ever happen in the first place?” Erestor shook his head, and looked down to find he was strikingly dressed in black and red, much as he might have been during his days as part of Rog’s army. “That must mean that you are part of my imagination.”
“Actually... I am real, despite being dead.”
“Explain, please.”
Glorfindel smiled. “I died. I spent a while in the Halls. Namo does not know what to do with me – my weeping is surpassed only by his sister.”
Erestor felt a pang in his chest, and moved forward towards Glorfindel in hopes of comforting him. He found that no matter how much he walked or jogged, Glorfindel appeared to remain the same distance from him without moving at all. “I am sorry. It should have been me.”
“It had to be me, Erestor. You need to stop blaming yourself for that. I had to be the one.”
Erestor started to shake his head. “I should have helped you—“
“I still would have died.” Glorfindel loosened the belt on his robe, allowing the sash to fall. The upper section of the robe draped open, and the ugly scar on his chest from his battle with a dragon during the retreat from the Nirnaeth Arnoediad. “I should have been dead long ago. I lived for my son; I should have died when he did. Then it was for Earendil, but I was running out of time. I am glad it happened as it did,” he said as he pulled the robe shut and held it closed. “It was easier to go quickly than it would have been to waste away over a period of weeks or months in my bed surrounded by those who would be pitying me.”
Still distressed, Erestor said, “I will never forgive myself for your death.”
“I know.” Glorfindel nodded. “I understand. I will never be at peace about Indelion.”
“Glorfindel, there was nothing you could do,” said Erestor quickly.
“And there was nothing you could do, either.” Glorfindel took a step forward, and Erestor found that this was the only way they would close the distance. “But there are things you can do now. Of course, you will probably just do whatever you damn well please, because that is just the way you are.”
Erestor was unable to deny this. “So, I will remember none of this. Will you at least tell me someday when I see you again?”
“I would if I were able,” said Glorfindel, “but I have already been told that I shall remember none of this.”
The reality seemed cruel to Erestor. “Then... then it is as if this never shall happen. Whatever we say now, whatever we do now – how unkind of Irmo, to bring this torture upon us!” Erestor reached out towards Glorfindel, but the distance remained too great. “How dare he give us such false hope!”
“Do not curse Irmo, nor his brother and sister,” pleaded Glorfindel, “for it is their kindness which has allowed us this brief interlude.” Finally, an emotion was visible on Glorfindel’s face: Distress. “Erestor... Erestor, you are supposed to think this meeting is for your sake, to aid you, to comfort you, but... but they are going to break the bond.”
“Break the bond?”
Glorfindel nodded tearfully.
“If there is a bond, then...”
Glorfindel continued to nod.
Now Erestor felt himself overcome with emotion. “Why? Why would they force such a thing? Obviously, we must not want it broken, if our souls will not let go.”
“Marriage is for the living,” stated Glorfindel bitterly, sounding as if he was quoting from an official document. “The bond is meant to be broken upon death.”
“Glorfindel... do not leave me, Glorfindel...” Erestor stopped, and a spark of memory caught him offguard. “We have been here before,” he said as he looked around. “You have visited me in dreams.”
Glorfindel nodded. “Unfortunately, I have always been allowed to remember. When the dreams end, the bond is still there.” He paused. “Now that I know that I have you, I refuse to let go.” He laughed, but it was a bitter sound. “Just how wrong is that? I have you, but I cannot have you.”
The answer seemed obvious to Erestor. “I just need to die. If I die, we can be together. Considering where I am, it will not be so difficult.”
The blond looked appalled. “Erestor, no. There are things you are fated to do. If you die... did you ever play with dominos when you were young?”
“Of course. The game is easy. What does that have to do with anything?”
“Did you ever set them up on end, and make rows of them on the floor?” Glorfindel waved his hand, and on the ground a row of large dominos appeared. They circled around them, each a breath away from another. “Do you see that one there?”
One of the bricks was taller than the others, and Erestor nodded in affirmation.
“Pretend that is you. If you stand tall, and fight against forces, then everything will be fine, in the end. But if you fall...” Glorfindel trailed off as the tall piece leaned forward suddenly. One after one, the bricks leaned and knocked into their neighbor until the final piece hit the first one with a clunk. “...we all fall down.”
Erestor stared at the black and white pieces that were toppled over around them. “When will I see you again?” he finally asked.
“That I do not know.”
“Will I see you again?”
Glorfindel did not answer.
“How long do we have right now?”
“Due to the fact you are locked up in a room with no windows and no expectations of visitors, I doubt anyone will be coming to wake you up anytime soon,” guessed Glorfindel.
“Are we allowed to reforge this bond before it is broken?”
Glorfindel looked surprised, but not unpleasantly so. Then, he looked sad.
“Is something wrong?” asked Erestor.
“No.” Glorfindel stepped closer again, and the dominos faded away. “You have just never expressed an interest to before.”
“How many times have you been in my dreams?” wondered Erestor.
Glorfindel – to Erestor’s dismay – stopped walking for a moment. “A few dozen. Of course, I kept promising to break the bond every time... I guess Namo has tired of my games,” he said ruefully.
“Does it really need to be broken?”
“For me to heal, it does. My soul cannot be mended while it clings to yours.”
“Where are you?” asked Glorfindel when he was standing before Erestor. He had let go of the robe, so it hung open now, his skin exposed from his collar to the waistband of his pants.
“You do not know?” asked Erestor carefully. Glorfindel shook his head. “Are you sure you wish me to tell you?”
“Are you in someone else’s bed?” The comment was many only in partial jest, and Erestor smiled a little. Glorfindel shook his head. “I did not want to know, so I never asked, but I think you should tell me.”
Erestor considered his answer. “I do not want you to worry.”
“Then do not lie to me, because whatever you make up will only worry me more.”
“Morgoth,” said Erestor, and the word sounded evil as he said it. “I allowed myself to be captured so that Manwe and the others might find him. He has me hanging in his dungeon, for now.”
Each word was a stab to Glorfindel’s heart, and he closed the gap between them. “I feared it was something like this, with how willing they have been in allowing me these visits with you. He reached out for Erestor, and they were holding on to one another in an instant. “I know that I told you that I would not return, but say the word, and for you I shall.”
Despite the knowledge of it being a dream, for the moment, it felt real to Erestor. He slid his left hand back behind Glorfindel’s neck and caressed his skin before moving his hand up to tangle in the golden waves. “Here is your answer, my dear.” Erestor moved his other hand behind Glorfindel’s head. With his palms, he gently coaxed Glorfindel to tilt his head while he bent down and pressed his mouth against Glorfindel’s. The rush he felt was lovely and bittersweet; tears were shed as they kissed and caressed and sobbed softly in each other’s arms.
“I was so stupid.” Erestor lifted his head, but instead of wiping his own eyes used his thumbs to brush away Glorfindel’s tears. “So stupid for so long. You were right there. All it would have taken was a few words--”
“Shhh... say no more of it. I might have been a bit bolder myself. It is all in the past.” Glorfindel turned within Erestor’s arms so that his back was pressed up against Erestor’s chest. “There are tough and dangerous times ahead for both of us. I cannot tell how long it will take or what will happen between now and then, but we have each other now, and we will be together again someday.”
Erestor tightened his embrace, bowed his head, and nuzzled Glorfindel’s shoulder where it curved up to his neck. The scent was warm and comforting to him, and he lingered there until he felt Glorfindel’s hands impatiently upon him. “I dislike long waits.”
“But the reward will be worth it,” promised Glorfindel.
Rough kisses were trailed down Glorfindel’s shoulder as the robe was pulled from him. “I want you... I need to make love to you now,” murmured Erestor into Glorfindel’s ear. The sky of the perfect world in his dreams had dimmed, and in the twilight all of the stars were bright and shined down upon them.
Glorfindel groaned and pressed back against Erestor. “There is something you need to know,” he said, which was followed by a gasp as Erestor’s hands disappeared beneath the fabric of his trousers. Glorfindel gently pulled away for a moment and turned around again to face Erestor. “There are going to be others – for both of us,” he added when he saw the hurt look on Erestor’s face. “Remember, you will not recall this when you wake, nor will I. However, I think you need to know that.” He reached up and began to untie the lacing of the shirt that Erestor wore. “But I want to tell you – I need to tell you – you are my one true love. My world revolves around you.”
There was little Erestor could say in response, so he said the only thing he thought came close. “I love you.”
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Date: 2009-11-18 06:44 am (UTC)