Zhie's and Monty's crack (or crap) HP theories

[zhie]

Okay, the history behind the title... we keep making up these ridiculous explanations about HP stuff and call them the crack harry potter theories... except, it was bound to happen that we'd hit on something that just might work all the sudden...





What if... (that's always how a crack theory starts) Snape was the chosen one?


*ahem*

The prophecy begins:

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches

Snape was coming to the door to eavesdrop at the time Dumbledore was listening to Madam Wierdo, I mean, Sibyll, prophesize

Born to those who have thrice defied him

Born from the root 'bear' as in to support, to endure. As in, brought into the Order of the Phoenix even after he dealt with shit from them three times

Born as the seventh month dies

Working on this... but thinking it has to do with Voldie (deal! with me calling him that, mwahaha) killing his seventh victim in regards to the horcruxes he needed (and, gosh, what if the seventh one he needed was to split part of himself and drop it off in someone's body, say, mmm, kill Potter Sr. and dump soul into Potter Jr., which would explain all of Harry's bizarro factors, such as speaking parseltongue and wetting the bed. Er, wait, I meant, the headaches and stuff (rumor has it he wets the bed, too)However, possibility calendar isn't working off of months as ours is...

and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal

via the Dark Mark

but he will have power the dark lord knows not

Snape can hide his thoughts

and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives

we have about a half-dozen possibilities on this, all of which would work, but until we take a vote, i'll leave this open

the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies

see above

So, three hours of looking up stuff and feeling like Hermione in the library, except, i'd be both the researching girl AND the librarian, we're still working it out...

there's more to it than that, but i'm tired, and i need my elves back...

-Zhie, the pure-blood...er...something er other...

Comments

[zhie.livejournal.com]

Sidenotes:

More along the 'crack theories' ('cause you gotta be on crack to believe them) line...


- we think the Sorting hat is a horcrux

- we think Harry has to lop off his hand to kill the part of Voldie living inside him

- we think we're going to send Lupin and Tonks a toaster as a wedding gift

crack theories...

[minerva-mcgngll.livejournal.com]

I love the toaster as a wedding present. I thought about getting them a set of silverware, but then realized how inappropriate that would be with Remus being a werewolf....