WAY too much information about Zhie
May. 19th, 2005 03:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zhieI haven't gone and played with unknown groups in a long while, but ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
purrsia keeps mentioning the group fanficrants and though I usually gloss over such things, this was too much fun not to write up. And then, since it's on a public group somewheres, it seems sad not to share with the rest of you. Um, but, Maggie and Monty - cover yer eyes when you get to paragraphs six and seven unless you want nightmares. And the rest of you, you've been warned. Make that warned twice. Hell, I know you'll all read anyhow...
Oral sex. Not the sort of way one begins a conversation in the company of strangers. Yet, the discussion has been put forth, and questions arise. Who doesn’t participate in such a thing? Why wouldn’t they? Are cucumbers fuzzy, and should they be shaved or peeled?
There is a very good reason why caution should be had when engaging in oral sex. Sexually transmitted diseases can be contracted not only by having the more ‘customary’ forms of sexual contact, but also via the mouth.
Statistically, in terms of the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS, there is a zero chance of this happening, according to a 2001 study at the University of California, San Francisco, Center for AIDS Prevention Studies. However, that doesn’t count for things that are flubbed or accidentally done, and quite honestly, how many people are concerning themselves with doing things specific to the clinical definition of sexual activities?
Even if following all safety procedures, there is still the fact that HIV isn’t the only sexually transmitted disease. For instance, herpes is a great concern for those engaging in oral sex. Not only is the ‘usual’ form, oral herpes or ‘cold sores’, transmittable, but so is HSV-1, a type of genital herpes. Herpes, for those who recall their sex education classes, is the sort of disease which doesn’t just go away. But, perhaps headaches and genital sores aren’t such a great concern for all of the general public.
And now for some numbers (and mortifyd, although you came off as a nasty, nasty person the way you jumped on 100years in the very beginning, you can thank me later for digging up an assload of statistics to support your ‘this activity’ claims earlier. I do take Visa, but not American Express. Visa: It’s everywhere you wanna be. Cheesecake is also acceptable bribage.). A survey in the United Kingdom found that approximately 25% of men in their 20s had not experienced oral sex. However, a more in-depth survey conducted by the Kinsey Institute in 1991 found that 97% of sexually active adults participated at least once in oral-genital activities. In an earlier survey from the 1970s, “39 per cent of women receive cunnilingus often, 48 per cent occasionally, six per cent once, and only seven per cent never”. The reverse statistics, men receiving fellatio, were similar.
Unfortunately, and herein the dilemma lies, I was unable to find any works, scholarly or within the public sector, pertaining to the spit or swallow decision made during the act of fellatio. So, now you get to hear my own opinions injected in, God help you all. As to the over-use of the ingesting of bodily fluids, I, on a personal level, agree. I’m in the ‘married with an active sex life’ category, and with an open line of communication with my dear husband, who will be rolling his eyes when I tell him later he was used in a pseudo-scholarly article on oral sex.
Personally, I have a terrible gag reflex, and have found that if there’s one thing less appealing than no oral sex, it’s choking half-way through the act. I can use it in conjunction with other methods, though, and because variety is the spice of life, why not? Though in my mind I know that simply kissing someone spreads more germs than swallowing sperm would, I still have to make my checkmark in the spitters category. Thus, I have to, from a personal point of view, agree with 100Years, in that there are quite a lot of unrealistic or inflated sex scenes written fictionally. But, fiction is an escape for most, so this is to be expected. Authors also draw on their own experiences, and if 97% of sexually active persons overall holds true for writers, then it’s not completely bizarre that there would be a number of scenes with oral sex in them.
Now, as for the claim that NC17s everywhere have everyone swallowing secretions of all kinds, well… I don’t know which fandom you’re referring to. I know I myself, when writing NC17 stories, don’t use this as the culmination of every sexual act. In fact, I’ve even got a character who has a little trouble in the whole oral sex department, and I have some who altogether just don’t go there. Both of the fandoms I play in are diverse – if they weren’t, we might as well all just copy and paste the same smut scenes and be done with it. But, perhaps the fandom you’re reading isn’t as creative in their ventures, or perhaps the majority of the readers are interested in ‘this activity’, and that is what drives the writers to continue with the theme. A supply vs. demand technique.
I guess what I would do is go to a mailing list or a group or something for the fandom you’re interested in reading these types of things in, and post a message asking for someone to point you in the direction of NC17 without oral sex in it, or without oral sex with swallowing in it (there’s gotta be terminology for that, someone please clue me in to the term. First person to give me the correct answer gets a shaved or peeled cucumber). I wish you luck in finding what you’re looking for.
- - -
References
Blundy, Anna. “Women and Men: Does Sex Matter?”. The Independent. London (UK): Aug 20, 1995. pg. 12
Doheny, Kathleen. “Genital Herpes Epidemic Grows; Diagnoses Are Up 30% Since '70s, but Earlier Treatment May Reduce or Eliminate Recurring Outbreaks”. Los Angeles Times. Los Angeles, Calif.: Jan 19, 1998. pg. 1
Kirby, David. “Oral Sex ‘Statistically’ Safe?”. The Advocate. Los Angeles: Sep 25, 2001. , Iss. 847; pg. 21
Reinisch, June. “Best way to know your spouse's desires is simply to ask”. The Ottawa Citizen. Ottawa, Ont.: Feb 7, 1992. pg. B.7
purrsia keeps mentioning the group fanficrants and though I usually gloss over such things, this was too much fun not to write up. And then, since it's on a public group somewheres, it seems sad not to share with the rest of you. Um, but, Maggie and Monty - cover yer eyes when you get to paragraphs six and seven unless you want nightmares. And the rest of you, you've been warned. Make that warned twice. Hell, I know you'll all read anyhow...Oral sex. Not the sort of way one begins a conversation in the company of strangers. Yet, the discussion has been put forth, and questions arise. Who doesn’t participate in such a thing? Why wouldn’t they? Are cucumbers fuzzy, and should they be shaved or peeled?
There is a very good reason why caution should be had when engaging in oral sex. Sexually transmitted diseases can be contracted not only by having the more ‘customary’ forms of sexual contact, but also via the mouth.
Statistically, in terms of the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS, there is a zero chance of this happening, according to a 2001 study at the University of California, San Francisco, Center for AIDS Prevention Studies. However, that doesn’t count for things that are flubbed or accidentally done, and quite honestly, how many people are concerning themselves with doing things specific to the clinical definition of sexual activities?
Even if following all safety procedures, there is still the fact that HIV isn’t the only sexually transmitted disease. For instance, herpes is a great concern for those engaging in oral sex. Not only is the ‘usual’ form, oral herpes or ‘cold sores’, transmittable, but so is HSV-1, a type of genital herpes. Herpes, for those who recall their sex education classes, is the sort of disease which doesn’t just go away. But, perhaps headaches and genital sores aren’t such a great concern for all of the general public.
And now for some numbers (and mortifyd, although you came off as a nasty, nasty person the way you jumped on 100years in the very beginning, you can thank me later for digging up an assload of statistics to support your ‘this activity’ claims earlier. I do take Visa, but not American Express. Visa: It’s everywhere you wanna be. Cheesecake is also acceptable bribage.). A survey in the United Kingdom found that approximately 25% of men in their 20s had not experienced oral sex. However, a more in-depth survey conducted by the Kinsey Institute in 1991 found that 97% of sexually active adults participated at least once in oral-genital activities. In an earlier survey from the 1970s, “39 per cent of women receive cunnilingus often, 48 per cent occasionally, six per cent once, and only seven per cent never”. The reverse statistics, men receiving fellatio, were similar.
Unfortunately, and herein the dilemma lies, I was unable to find any works, scholarly or within the public sector, pertaining to the spit or swallow decision made during the act of fellatio. So, now you get to hear my own opinions injected in, God help you all. As to the over-use of the ingesting of bodily fluids, I, on a personal level, agree. I’m in the ‘married with an active sex life’ category, and with an open line of communication with my dear husband, who will be rolling his eyes when I tell him later he was used in a pseudo-scholarly article on oral sex.
Personally, I have a terrible gag reflex, and have found that if there’s one thing less appealing than no oral sex, it’s choking half-way through the act. I can use it in conjunction with other methods, though, and because variety is the spice of life, why not? Though in my mind I know that simply kissing someone spreads more germs than swallowing sperm would, I still have to make my checkmark in the spitters category. Thus, I have to, from a personal point of view, agree with 100Years, in that there are quite a lot of unrealistic or inflated sex scenes written fictionally. But, fiction is an escape for most, so this is to be expected. Authors also draw on their own experiences, and if 97% of sexually active persons overall holds true for writers, then it’s not completely bizarre that there would be a number of scenes with oral sex in them.
Now, as for the claim that NC17s everywhere have everyone swallowing secretions of all kinds, well… I don’t know which fandom you’re referring to. I know I myself, when writing NC17 stories, don’t use this as the culmination of every sexual act. In fact, I’ve even got a character who has a little trouble in the whole oral sex department, and I have some who altogether just don’t go there. Both of the fandoms I play in are diverse – if they weren’t, we might as well all just copy and paste the same smut scenes and be done with it. But, perhaps the fandom you’re reading isn’t as creative in their ventures, or perhaps the majority of the readers are interested in ‘this activity’, and that is what drives the writers to continue with the theme. A supply vs. demand technique.
I guess what I would do is go to a mailing list or a group or something for the fandom you’re interested in reading these types of things in, and post a message asking for someone to point you in the direction of NC17 without oral sex in it, or without oral sex with swallowing in it (there’s gotta be terminology for that, someone please clue me in to the term. First person to give me the correct answer gets a shaved or peeled cucumber). I wish you luck in finding what you’re looking for.
- - -
References
Blundy, Anna. “Women and Men: Does Sex Matter?”. The Independent. London (UK): Aug 20, 1995. pg. 12
Doheny, Kathleen. “Genital Herpes Epidemic Grows; Diagnoses Are Up 30% Since '70s, but Earlier Treatment May Reduce or Eliminate Recurring Outbreaks”. Los Angeles Times. Los Angeles, Calif.: Jan 19, 1998. pg. 1
Kirby, David. “Oral Sex ‘Statistically’ Safe?”. The Advocate. Los Angeles: Sep 25, 2001. , Iss. 847; pg. 21
Reinisch, June. “Best way to know your spouse's desires is simply to ask”. The Ottawa Citizen. Ottawa, Ont.: Feb 7, 1992. pg. B.7
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-05-19 10:32 pm (UTC)Give me my cucumber, woman.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-19 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-19 11:03 pm (UTC)A little unsettling, isn't it, to think that when you read a particularly kinky lemon by someone you know they could be transmuting what they did in RL last night (or want to do) to their characters of choice?
I never thought people would actually think that until a few years online in the Thundercats fandom, when someone referred to adult RPing on IM as "having sex" with them.
Totally killed adult IM RPing with me for awhile, let me tell ya... Nothing like having a laugh at friendly weird story-esque pr0n only to find out that the person on the other end is more thinking he's actually getting it on with you as cybersex. *Eeek!*
As for the oral sex spit/swallow issue - I agree... gag reflexes are a reality so the whole "she was a sheltered, inexperienced virgin but effortlessly deep throated him and loved it" lemons make me laugh heartily.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 01:18 am (UTC)What people also need to remember that unless you are 100 comfy with having regular ole sex sex with someone you aught to not be having unprotected oral sex with them either.Hopefully people realize you can get icky disease that way as well.
drat...now how many hours till I see my honey????? I feel the need for a scientific study very soon.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 05:13 am (UTC)Spitting is not nice, and not very friendly in my opinion. With my hubby the qestion never arose, it seemed the right thing to do at the time. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-05-20 11:53 am (UTC)This is true, I'm sure. I know I've drawn on life experience for at least elements of my fics. And what I don't know from experience, I do research on that. Go figure.
However, that said...unless you're doing total self-insertion you also have to take into account the context of the story and the characters you have performing certain acts. Whether you're a deep throat queen in real life has (or for the love of Jaga, should have) little bearing on how your characters behave in bed unless for that character it would also seem appropriate. Some sex acts just don't fit certain characters' sensibilities or personalities at all and should probably never be something they adopt. Know thy character, I suppose.
I'm not opposed to oral sex, but as has been pointed out, depending on what characters you're pairing; some may not even try it. Others may try it and not like it...or have preferences like spitting over swallowing or vice versa. However, some may love it and prefer it. Yet others may be incapable of some things, like deep throating because of gag reflexes or whatever. But it should really *fit* that character as far as how they approach it and what their overall verdict on the activity is.
Depending on the universe you're working in and the characters in it, the real life ratio may not realistically carry over. It's something to consider anyway, along with everything else.
Like Cheezey said, you don't want to end up writing your shy clueless virgin as a masterful mistress in bed her first time - highly highly unlikely and does not make readers hot. Unless laughing a lot generates body heat, that is. Some things you can't have both ways...at least not without having some time in between where she or he learns to be that irresistable and an expert lover. Few are born with a natural prowess in bed.
As a side-note and slightly OT (but talking about how author's incorporate their own experiences made me think of it), sometimes trying to stay more true to your character than yourself can get you in trouble, too. Unfortunately lol!
For instance, if your character finds oral sex demeaning "omg, that's what you think as an author11!1" and in come the flames *sigh* You can insert anything remotely controversial or offensive here (racism, sexism, bigotry, etc etc) and you'll probably be flamed for having a character like that even if it's totally IC for them to be that way. If your character is a sex fiend then so are you and you're a bitch if you turn down Random Online Guy for sex >.<
I don't know about you, but I don't self-insert to that degree, if at all. Besides, I think there's a difference between total self-insertion as opposed to drawing on your own experiences to describe things where appropriate.
--Purrsia